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Question:Throughout my school life I have always had natural ability in Science and enjoyed the subject in general. It was only in the last years of my school life that I took an interest in chemistry. The decision to study chemistry at A-level was a difficult one and one which took time to make but since the first day of A-level chemistry I loved it and it quickly became my favourite subject. I have no regrets about taking A-level chemistry and feel I had made the right choice. Whilst learning chemistry can be difficult and frustrating at times it brings an immense satisfaction when a problem is solved. I understand the uses of chemistry in daily life in household items such as aerosols, cosmetics/perfume, hair dyes and soaps washing detergents etc. Without chemistry research the world would not be able to function properly as things like new medicines and drugs would never be discovered and we would t even know what was in the air we breathed. I think what attracts me to chemistry is that we can never know everything and their will always be a new discovery waiting around the corner. My other subjects I study are maths and biology; these have aided me in my chemistry learning as maths has aided me in solving algebraic equations easily in chemistry where simple formulae are used and also converting between units. Biology has helped me as in biochemistry things such as hydrogen bonding and amino acids have given me a greater understanding of how they are used and are important in life rather than just their structure and how they react before studying them in chemistry, also it has given me a basic understanding of how new drugs and antibiotics are found/produced and how they affect the human body. I also studied I.C.T at AS level and possess good I.C.T skills. My next favourite academic subject would be maths, I enjoy this and I enjoy solving challenging mathematical problems, I have a natural ability in maths and this helps me when solving equations and converting units easily in my chemistry classes. I have often been involved gifted and talented math sessions in school and extra curricular maths activities as going to Warwick University to study maths. In my free time I enjoy solving puzzles and things that test my problem solving abilities. Other things I enjoy are reading and sport. I have been involved in sports clubs inside and outside of school mainly football up to a year ago. I enjoy watching most sports and participating in them to. I believe I am an honest hardworking student who will always try my hardest in all challenges. If I struggle in a subject or topic this motivates me more and makes me more determined to succeed. I am very punctual and have an excellent attendance record. I believe studying a degree in chemistry is the right choice for me because it is what I enjoy doing and my thirst for knowledge is great. I would like to go in to lab research/testing when I have finished my degree so I know this is the right choice for me please can i have your opinions on this any feedback appreciated also could anyone explain the differences between a BSc and an MSci. i understand one is a bachelors degree and the other in an under graduate master degree, but what are the benefits of each and could i do a masters degree after my bachelors degree if i wanted? thanks

Answers:Sounds OK to me, just a couple of small points: You use the wrong form of "there" in the first sentence of the second paragraph. It should be "and there will always be a new discovery." Very clumsy sentence: " My next favourite academic subject would be maths, I enjoy this and I enjoy solving challenging mathematical problems, I have a natural ability in maths and this helps me when solving equations and converting units easily in my chemistry classes." I would break it up into at least two sentences, something like: "I also enjoy maths and solving challenging meathematical problems. Proficiency in maths is a great help when converting units and other mathematical operations in chemistry." And always try to keep an active voice. For example, don't say, "I have been involved in," rather say something like, "I took several gifted and talented sessions at school, and even studied maths at Warwick University as an extra curricular activity." You sound like a real scientist in the making. Good luck. Writing will be critical to success in your career.

Question:They are for a college application. Statement One: The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community? My presence will enrich the community in many ways. I have a lot to offer this campus and the community. I will bring my willingness to learn and my calm but sweet personality to the community. A strong pride in my African-American heritage will also come with me. Although I have been described as a sweet person, people have also said I am strong. I have been through more than you can imagine. Born as a premature baby, I weighed only one pound and thirteen ounces. I had to have a surgery to remove seventy-five percent of my intestines and I was diagnosed with a condition called short-bowel syndrome. Because of this, I had to be fed through a g-tube for most of my life. After staying in the hospital for approximately six months, I was finally able to go home with my family. Just a few years later I was on my way back to the hospital. At eight years old I was in the hospital for an open heart surgery. The doctors had found a small hole in my heart and the purpose of the surgery was to patch it. When I awoke, once again my mother was right by my side. My family visited me as often as they could while I was in hospital for a few weeks. I was ecstatic when I was finally able to go home to be with my family. My family has been with me through every single trial and tribulation that I have ever had the displeasure of going through. Even with the recent death of my father, my family still remains the glue that holds me together. I love them for always being there for me. Without them I don't know where I would be. Not only am I a sweet, strong person, I am a survivor. I feel that the community and the campus will be greatly enriched by someone like me. So if I am granted acceptance into this university, I will be very grateful. Statement Two: I think of myself as a rather intelligent person, but I'm not so good in all subjects. Math is the subject that causes me grief. Sometimes it can be very easy to me and at times it can be hard to figure out. I find math to be one of the most difficult subjects there ever was. Math has made an impact on my grades in the past. One example was in high school. I had a Pre-Calculus class and I failed every single test I was given except for maybe one or two. I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Even when the teacher helped me, I still didn't understand it. He helped me out as much as he could but could not figure out the work out he was giving me. By a miracle, I passed the class by the skin of my teeth. That had to be the only class where I felt like a complete idiot. Although I am not good at math, I think that tutoring could help me. I'm not afraid to admit when I need help. Better study skills and a tutor would definitely help me earn better grades. My major goal is to make it through college and earn a degree. The opportunity to walk across the stage again would be exhilarating. I am looking forward to doing my best in college. I will also make great efforts to earn the best grades that I can.

Answers:This is rubbish. That's my sincere opinion. Rewrite this crap from scratch, or may god have mercy upon your soul. Kind Regards, Your lovely Pope

Question:this is what i have so far for my penn state personal statement. Any suggestions and comments are appreciated My high school experience has taught me countless lessons and shaped who I am today. Marching band is an activity where I have learned various skills that will be key aspects for future success. I have learned discipline, determination, patience, organization, leadership, responsibility, and teamwork are important in order to achieve success. I have learned that the key to success is to utilize these seven skills for any endeavors a person may face. Discipline is ones control of resisting the urge to succomb to any temptations. Determination is needed to achieve goals and without it, one would not have the willpower to fulfill their goals. Patience is utilized to remind a person that a goal cannot be achieved in one day. It takes time and one must remain patient and cannot be in a hurry. Organization is a skill needed to keep everything in an orderly fashion. Without it, everything can possibly fall apart. Leadership skills in an individual can be demonstrated through how well one can take charge of a group of people. Effective leadership is seldom found, but it is needed in order to have a successful group. Responsibility is the duty one fulfills whether it is personal responsibilities or external responsibilities. I have learned that it is important for an individual to carry out their responsibilities. Lastly, teamwork is very important aspect. Teamwork demonstrates how effectively a group can communicate ideas amongst themselves. I have seen how important teamwork is and that without teamwork, it can be impossible a group's goal. During my time in high school, I was able to find subjects I was fond of learning more about and ones I could do without. I have always been interested in technologies and how they work. The way technology has advanced our lives is amazing to witness. I have always known that I wanted to study biology, but I never pictured myself as the surgeon or nurse in an OR. Biomedical engineering is something that integrates both aspects I am interested in pursuing. It allows innovation to technology in the medical field. The technology used in the medical field has come a long way. Biomedical engineering explores the different medical instruments. I was inspired to pursue a career in the biomedical field because of how it affects others. New technologies in the medical field have saved countless lives and will only continue to grow through the work of the biomedical engineers in the world. After my visit at Penn State, I realized I found a school I could picture myself attending. With the knowledge and experiences I have acquired over my lifetime, I can utilize these to be a successful student. I will do my best to academically achieve my goals and also get involved in some of the activities offered in the establishment. Penn State is a rich institution that is filled with motivated students and faculty. I believe I can be a great addition to the school.

Answers:Your statement started out well and it began to describe you, and then it flopped. You begin lecturing the reader about your seven skills by talking about what they mean in a Webster's context and the ways in which one achieves them instead of describing personal experiences (which is the point of a PERSONAL statement) where you grew or learned by utilizing those skills. You may want to steer away from such cliche words. Be more creative! In the next part of your essay, it starts out well again, but I think you should describe more about how your interests and tendencies pull you towards a future in biomedical engineering instead of telling the reader that, "because you didn't want to be A or B, I chose to be C." That being said, your first two paragraphs have nothing to do with one another. Maybe you should think about integrating those seven skills into how you came to decide a future as a biomedical engineer? That would be a good theme to string everything together. And in your last paragraph, you could talk about how the school you visited will foster your dedication and that you will have much to offer the institution in the form of non-academic activities so you will be a well-rounded student. (Intelligent, diligent, sociable, etc.)

Question:As a child, I was captivated by the different worlds history offered to me. It left me wanting to know everything possible about the people who had inhabited such worlds and the events that shaped them. As I grew older, I became more interested not only in what happened in the past, but how and why it happened. This more analytical approach gave me a much greater understanding of historical events and in turn transformed history from an interest into a passion for me. A trip to Leeds Royal Armouries last October started this process, as in the education centre, we were allowed to handle a 12th century swordsmanship manual. This really awed me, to see and handle the original manuscript, and gave me a true insight into the life of a soldier in the Middle Ages and the work of a historian. A school visit to La Real Armer a in Palacio Real de Madrid really made history come alive for me. Seeing the armour the Spanish monarchy wore transformed them from names in the textbook into real people. In particular, the armour of the young Don Carlos, as it was only then that I could see the extent of his deformities which had been hidden in portraits. Subsequently studying the Wars of the Roses for AS Level, I developed my main historical passion for the Middle Ages and the Tudors, and I believe that by studying history at degree level I would be able to thoroughly explore this passion. I hope to transfer the enthusiasm and knowledge I gained from my own history teacher to the next generation as I hope to become a teacher myself in the long term. In school, I participate in a number of extra-curricular activities. I undertook Active Listening training to become a Buddy for bullied pupils, and am also a Learning Mentor for younger pupils who are struggling academically. I have helped set up and run the School Council, and last year participated in the mentoring scheme set up for a local primary school. All these activities have given me a sense of responsibility, and taught me the importance of communication and teamwork. I also organised my own work experience this summer where I worked in the village primary school with a range of ages. This was immensely rewarding and it proved to me that I would want to work with children, although I plan to gain more work experience in a secondary school as this is where I see myself in the future. Out of school I take an active part in the Scout Association. I am currently a member of Hornsea Explorers and am working towards my Chief Scouts Platinum Award. I love the challenges set to us as a unit, while also making friends for life across the country in various events I have participated in such as the World Scout Jamboree in 2008. I also am training as a Young Leader, which means I help to run and organise both Brandesburton Beavers and Scouts. This really does mean I can give something back to the organisation that I have been a part of for nearly eight years. It gives me a great sense of achievement to see the unit grow and the children develop, and in January I will be helping set up our new cub pack too. I am also working on my Silver Duke of Edinburgh Award, which I feel gives me skills for life, and involved me qualifying as a first aider with St Johns Ambulance. I also regularly babysit in the village, which is really rewarding and has taught me how to deal with more challenging children. Therefore I think that my passion for history and the skills I have learnt through my extra-curricular activities, especially the Scout Association will put me in good stead to succeed at university and attain my ultimate goal of becoming an inspiring history teacher, and developing the love of history I have felt since childhood in others. aww thankyou Will :) i just hope the universities will agree with you! lol x

Answers:Wow all I have to say really is that you are definitely one of those very few people that has reached self actualization. Going through all those decisions and other life changing activities would make you the perfect person to give back to anyone, rather it be children, young adults, or even people much older than yourself. Congratulations on all of your achievements, and you would make the perfect history teacher to anyone willing or unwilling to learn.

From Youtube

Personal Statement Tips for Future Law School Applicants :Senior law school consultant Derek Meeker provides useful tips and advice for Personal Statements for aspiring law school applicants. His advice ranges from how much emphasis admissions committees place on the personal statement to whether or not applicants should talk about why they want to go to law school in the essay.

Academic Writing Tips : How to Write a Personal Statement for a Graduate School Application :Writing a personal statement for a graduate school application should reflect an individual personality while maintaining a professional style. Write a personal statement for a graduate school application with tips from a produced playwright in this free video on writing. Expert: Laura Turner Bio: Laura Turner received her BA in English from the University of the South in Sewanee, Tenn., graduating magna cum laude with honors. Her plays have been seen and heard from Alaska to Tennessee. Filmmaker: Todd Green